Job Search Blues

 Ever since inflation, all the employees (the little worker bees) at my company where I work have been asking for a cost of living increase. It kept being denied to us, with one unbelievable excuse after the other. 

So they came up with a plan. They would give us a cost of living raise... but take away our bonuses that we received on a quarterly basis. This means that some people actually got a pay cut.

That, on top of other work related nonsense, is why I am looking for something else. 

I decided to take my time and find the best fit for me, which would include remote/work from home ONLY, and pays better than what I currently make. 

In order to do this, I need to interview. Now, I absolutely hate interviews. You have to act like an extrovert, of which I am not. You have to act like the job itself is amazing and you can't wait to do this work. Smile. Ask questions. 

I am a quiet person. I don't like talking to strangers, even if I want something from them. I could give a shit about the job itself, I just need to pay the bills. I hate smiling all the time and can never think of questions to ask. (Of course I had a cheat sheet from youtube next to me). 

It's all so very fake. Let's cut the pleasantries. Why do I want to leave my current job? Because it sucks, next question. What skills do I have? Great let's cut to it shall we. How much salary am I expecting? Here is exactly how much I require to pay the bills and save a little extra. ..Now why can't it be like this? 

That taboo question. The one where they ask how much you want them to pay you? And you can't tell them? You have to play a little back and forth game until they tell you how much the job starts you at? No thank you! 

I have had 2 interviews and didn't get the job, but I am looking at them like they were practice. Like I am re-learning all over again how to do this.

Youtube has been a big help. I had not had an actual job interview since 2018, so all these new tips and tricks will come in handy. And what employers look for in a resume now, has changed since 2018 too. People seem to really like my resume. 

I wish they'd look at my resume, think "this person is right for the job!" and hire me. At the amount I wish.

This little eggshell thin ice tippy toe game gets really old. Let's just cut the crap.

 

And now I will leave you with a picture of a purple banana. You know, a direct visual interpretation of going on a job interview: