So 2023 was tumultuous of a year. I am hoping that 2024 is a smooth, calm, lucky year (it will be year of the dragon!) and that we can settle into the house, make it out own, and enjoy our community.
I feel like what needs to happen most is further growth inwards though. I have been kind of a mess lately, due to bipolar shenanigans that I don't feel like myself. I need to fix that this year, whatever it takes, whether it will be meds, meditation, routine, etc..
Right now I have been worrying about a lot of unnecessary things. Like being in a car crash, or getting violently ill. Stupid stuff. But things nonetheless that make my mind spin out of control. I am also irritable to the millionth degree lately. That is usually a sure sign of mania but I also feel something else, that I can't quite put my finger on. It's not sadness, it's not numbness or anger. It's an unknown emotion that I am not comfortable with because I don't know what it is or how to describe it.
I am going to write my top 5 things that I want for my 2024 year:
1. Work steadily toward making the house our own (painting, decorating, etc)
2. Keep my job at **company I work for** which means continuing to raise my performance
3. Go for more walks and exercise more in some form or another
4. Keep in touch better with family and friends
5. Be a good person
It's not that I am a bad person, I'm far from it. But, it's just that I have some work to do. I want to have more enlightenment about myself and who I am. I want to hold myself accountable for each interaction I have in some manner. I want to know my place in life, and what I stand for.
But most of all.. the goddamn number ONE thing that I want most of all in 2024:
STOP BEING IMPATIENT AND LAZY. Take time to do things correctly! I think that is my biggest fault.
There you have it. That's how I want my '24 to look. Can I do it? I'm certainly going to try.
Happy New Year + Have a great 2024 everyone!
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