The Cure For Depression

I have bipolar. Part of that means I experience depression. Depression is my very least favorite type of episode (mania can be fun sometimes). You are tired all the time. You are irritable. You don't care about anything. You are sometimes sad. Sometimes you're just numb and you don't enjoy anything. You just want to sleep. Mundane tasks like showering or doing the dishes seem overwhelming. It sucks. But there's a secret I discovered that can make it all go away.

Now, let me preface this by saying I'm definitely not a scientist. I'm not a psychiatrist. I'm just a person. But I've found a way to get rid of depression. Not just for an afternoon or a day - but months (if you cycle with episodes like I do) or perhaps more.

This is going to sound absolutely insane and you'll stop reading this out of pure incredulous-ness (is that a word? My auto correct doesn't think so). But hang in there with me, it will all make sense soon.

You need to get out of bed somehow, and go for a 10 mile walk. Yes you read that right. A 10 mile walk. 

 

When we lived in Salt Lake City, we were walking from our apartment to downtown which would take 10 minutes. One day, I was depressed (numb, didn't enjoy things, "bored" all the time, unable to make myself do basic chores, etc) and we had gone to the Rose Park section of the Jordan River trail and walked 5 miles in and 5 miles back. My depression lifted when we got home. I was  suddenly talkative and laughing and feeling actual feels again. My feet were wrecked. They absolutely were in a lot of pain. The skin was red, and had blisters. The muscles were tired. The tendons were threatening to separate from the muscles. But I felt good. It was amazing. I felt fine after that for a good while.

Subsequent times we've gone on a 10 mile walk it again was not my idea and I fussed and complained. Again at the end I felt better. My feet and legs hurt but it was always worth it. 

From the Mayo Clinic, "Research on depression, anxiety and exercise shows that the psychological and physical benefits of exercise can also help improve mood and reduce anxiety." It continues on to say, "The links between depression, anxiety and exercise aren't entirely clear — but working out and other forms of physical activity can definitely ease symptoms of depression or anxiety and make you feel better. Exercise may also help keep depression and anxiety from coming back once you're feeling better."

 

My theory is that the amount of endorphins generated by walking for 10 miles is enough to knock out the depression. 

From a NIHM study about long-distance walking and depression, "the findings collectively suggested that long-distance walking may be a remedy against mental health issues" (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8345809/).

 

Now, when I am depressed, or having beginning signs of it, my mate will ask me if we need to go on a 10 mile walk. Instead of kicking and screaming, I do a quick self-assessment, to see if I do indeed need to go walk that far. If I say yes, we fill up the camel pack and head out. We walk through the neighborhood to the canal, and down to a big main street that we have to cross with caution, which after doing so, will take us past a big giant park filled with paths & ponds, and subtly moves on into a golf course, and then just becomes a regular walking path. We end up in a different city.

And of course, afterward, I feel so much BETTER at the end!

 

When we get home I sit down and have a cold bottle of either water or gatorade, or both. I rub my poor aching feet. I feel absolutely tired and fucked up. My legs ache. But my MOOD! I always feel so much better - not just better, but happy. 

 

It is super hard to get going, mind you. Walking for longer than 'from the couch to the toilet' sounds horrible. When you're depressed all you want to do is sit there staring at a wall. So getting the motivation to do this is the hard part. It helps to have someone force you to do it. And going for a 10 mile walk alone might not be as uplifting, so take my advice with a grain... but I highly recommend it.

 

Good luck out there.

 

 

New Years... um, Goals.

 So instead of calling them New Years Resolutions... I am going to simply call them "goals". Resolutions is such a powerful word, and I am not trying to force myself into anything majorly crazy like that. I just have some goals. 

- Keep running 1 mile everyday, keep lifting weights, add abdominal workouts at breaktimes

- Eat less/smaller portions

- Eat healthier/Cook more & order delivery less

- Drink at least 16 cups of water everyday, more during Arizizzle.

- Keep doing my reminders that pop up on my phone, such as taking my medicine on time, cleaning the litterboxes in the morning, etc. 

-- The ultimate goal is to lose 10 lbs by my birthday in June, which should be easy to do if we stick to it. The thing is, we both have to motivate and lift each other up. 

Also, something else I'd like to do, is keep up with the psybient releases each month, as they come out, from psybient.org. That way I can choose good ones as-I-go throughout the year instead of listen to 200 albums in October - December. 

Today my mate and I made a poster for ideas to help us be healthier in the kitchen. Tips & tricks, if you will. We're hanging it in the kitchen, in fact. It lists things such as "keep hydrated", "intermittent fasting", and "motivational quotes as desktop background". It's a way to remind us that this is important to us. Next week we're just living off of soup. Just soup, yep. Then we'll start fasting again. 

On a completely unrelated note, I have the song "Wolves" by MISSIO stuck in my head and I can't get it out. 

Ok back on track, /tangent, Tonight is New Years Eve, we're going to TRY an stay up as late as we can - if we make it past 8pm I will be super surprised, haha. For dinner we are having fondue, using a new recipe that we saw on TV. It's a tradition for us to do Fondue on NYE every year. One of my favorite things. 

2021 wasn't a bad year, for me anyway. Here's to 2022: May it be a great year, free of COVID. (We'll see about that). 

Best Times of 2021

 Here's the entry I was excited to write. The BEST of 2021 for me. This year really was not a bad year, and it was difficult to write up a "worst of". So many good, or even neutral things happened this year. So let's get right to it.

- We got a kitten for our kitten so our kitten can kitten. We introduced Angus to the family, he's a little orange guy. He's really sweet but right now is going through his terrible two's and acting a fool. He is always smiling though, and is a joy to have around. He is friends with everyone, and brought out the social/playful nature of Choco-Luv, who plays like she's 6 months old but is really 15 years old. 

- Laurel's computer crapped out on her. Actually, 2 of them did to be specific. While this sounds like a bad thing - and it wasn't great - it ended up being a blessing in disguise because I purchased a better laptop for her. It's a gaming computer, and she doesn't play games but that just means the graphics and sound card, processor speed, RAM and hard drive space are all superior. The keyboard lights up in different colors. It's sturdy and military-grade tough (the type of computer is actually called "Tuf" too). 

- I ran 1 mile every single day for over a year. It would've been 2 years, but in August of 2020 I had West Nile from a mosquito bite, which gave me hives which meant I couldn't put a bra or, really any clothing on, and I can't run without a bra. So that is pretty good over all. 

- Usually from October - January it becomes "food time" and we gain 15 lbs. But this year we didn't do nearly as bad as we thought we would. I gained about 4 lbs, which really doesn't bother me because of one of my goals I have set up for the new year - exercise and eating smaller portions. It'll happen.

- We had monsoons this year!! The past 2 years it was non-soons, so for the storms to come our way again finally, it was really nice. We enjoyed sitting out on the patio under the carport while it just poured down crazy rain.

- My dad, one of the first of the boomer (flip phone loving) generation (I think? He was born in 1945) was given a smartphone by a friend of his, and he tried to use it and hated it, so he gave it to me. Subsequently, he stuck with his flip phone. I think he finally figured out how to receive text messages just recently. Anyway... He didn't know what it was so I didn't expect to like it, but when I received it in the mail and opened it, I found out it was a Motorola One 5G, 128gig smartphone. It's been a pretty good phone and it replaced the one that I had been using which was a Samsung S9 cheapy phone. I got a new wallet case for it, for christmas from my mate. 

- We got to stay working from home this whole year. We don't go back until maybe March, if that. It's been super nice. We have our routines, and working from home helps us maintain those. I'm an introvert, so staying home really eases my anxiety a lot.

- Cooking. We didn't do it all that often, but when the 2 of us cooked together, we had a great time. We signed up for Hello Fresh and now end up cooking more often as a result. It's fun doing it as an activity we both can have fun together with, whilst imbibing on a tasty beverage. Just the other day we (she) made her infamous (maybe one day) Beef Stronagoff. I baked an apple pie from scratch a few months ago. It was pretty good. Cooking with my mate is enjoyable.

- We got rid of peice of shit CenturyLink who refused to do anything to provide more than 1.5mbps internet to us. We got tired of constantly having our connections drop while working. I received an ad in the mail for T-Mobile Home Internet and after we discussed it, switched. It is soooo much faster and can handle a heavier amount of simultaneous connections. I get about 50mbps now. It does disconnect once in a while, but not every day like CL did. 

- I switched from Boost Mobile to Mint to US Mobile this past year. I had problems with US Mobile's GSM (T-Mobile towers) service and it was ongoing for about 2 months and they moved me to their Super LTE (Verizon towers) service and since then, has been excellent. My plan is less than $20 incl. tax, for 5 gigs of data and unlimited talk & text. Since our internet from T-Mobile is a total beast, I don't need to use cellular data as much (barely any, really). 

-  Swimply app? Maybe Swimly. Anyway, either way it is awesome. It let's you rent swimming pools at other people's houses. We've used it twice. Each time, we had a blast. The first time we were in Scottsdale at some dude's house, and we played with the beach ball back & forth seeing who could spike it the most without it touching the water. The 2nd time was in Chandler, and it was another dude's house, he had a TV with Amazon Music (or some such thing -- I spoke to Alexa, and told her what to play) so we listened to music and had fun with a beverage or two. What a fabulous idea, renting other people's swimming pools! 

- Being with my mate is probably the single most bestest part of the year. I've gotten to spend the past 12 years with her, but it never gets old. We laugh, we cry, we smile, we laugh again. Ok we don't really cry but you got the point. We have a strong connection. My heart grows 3 times bigger whenever I get to hold her or give her a kiss. She is my world. I wouldn't be the same person without her, she makes me better and I love her for it. So the best part of 2021 was being able to spend it with her - and our little kitty family. 

- Music. SO MUCH GOOD MUSIC in the chillout/electronic world for 2021. (see my top 10 below). It was actually pretty hard this year choosing a top 10 and then a top 5 out of those, and then a 1st place winner. I feel like I didn't get nearly enough time this year though to listen to all of it. I was impressed that, at least in the electronic world (I can't say the same for the rock/pop/country/other world) that they spent being locked down making marvelous music. I even made some in 2020 but alas.. I didn't really publish it. It's on Soundclick and Soundcloud, but not up on Spotify yet. We'll get there.

So that was my year. A pretty good year. As Tori Amos would say.

Worst Times of 2021

 I'm doing a best-of and worst-of 2021. I figured I'd start with the worst so that I end on a positive note. It really was not a terrible year like some people seem to think. We finally felt comfortable enough, before Omicron and before Delta, to venture out in the world again. In 2020, the year before, we may not have had a very long lock-down period here in Arizona, but for us, the whole year was staying home. This year we went to the Total Wine & More a few times, the MyBeerWine store once or twice, and before my birthday last June, met up with a co-worker friend for drinks. That's it, though. With the spread of COVID variants, it just wasn't a good idea, despite being vaccinated, to go anywhere that often. We got our first vaccines in April at the Mesa convention center, then the 2nd shot a few weeks later, was also in Mesa. Our booster came in October, at a CVS pharmacy. We are as vaccinated as you CAN be right now but we do not want COVID. If even I don't have any symptoms, I am worried about long-haulers. Man, people be getting kidney disease 'n shit. So home, we are. But that doesn't bother me as much as I always thought it would. I enjoy my little family and being with them. My days are fairly routine, but thats good for me and my bipolar disorder. I am pretty happy. So this list, the worst times of my 2021, will be rather difficult. That being said, here they are:

- Sometime in September (I think) me and my mate got into a big fight. I was in a mixed episode, and felt angry. Everything bothered me. I felt rage, jealousy, darkness. I wanted to hear dark music. I wanted to be by myself. I hated people, I hated the world. And one day, I just wouldn't stop running my mouth at her, so she sprayed me with a water bottle and somehow we ended up on the floor wrestling. I felt so terrible and awful immediately afterward. I snapped out of my pettiness and angst, and started trying to use better strategies to deal with my "mood". I felt really bad. I am not a violent person, I don't wrestle people. I'm not USUALLY a jerk, either. That day, I was, and it still bothers me that I was like that, to this day.

- Sore arms after COVID shots. The first shot didn't hurt that bad but the 2nd one hurt like crazy, and I even got a little sick afterward. The booster hurt moderately and I started to feel kind of icky but it went away. It was so worth it though.

- A new pain introduced itself this year. I call the area my "Pelvileghip" That's pelvi-leg-hip because where the femur meets the pelvis has a problem, down by my crotch area. It pops and clicks and feels like it's rubbing. It's tender and sore, and I read it might be osteoarthritis of the hip. A couple tylenol helps the pain. The funny thing is, I have a bad back and my back hurts when I stand for too long, but my pelvileghip hurts when I sit for too long. I just can't win with these body parts.

- Goose, the oldest cat, is going blind. We've had to move things around and make it easier for him, with hits access to the fountain water on the counter (We'd put them on the floor if the power outlets in the bathrooms were toward the floor, but they are at the counters). We put lights up around the house at night so he can find his way since he really can't see in the dark. Poor buddy.

- My mate's father in Nevada has Parkinson's disease, and just the other day ran the car into a median in the snow and totalled the bottom of it, on his way to the casino. It's dangerous for him to be driving. We're hoping her mother took the keys and cash away. Gotta keep him safe. Her mom is super worried now though, and hopes she doesn't have to retire soon.

- My mate was having some problems at work. Her supervisor and team lead were harassing her/micro-managing and it was getting out of hand. Her stress level went through the roof and she had problems sleeping and having really awful anxiety. It was no good. 

That is all I could think of that went even sort of bad this year. It really was a decent year. Coming up... the best times of 2021.

Top 10 Psychill/Chillout-y Downtempo of 2021

 It's that time of year! Time to show off the top 10 chill albums from 2021. In the non-electronic world of music, I was a bit disappointed. I mean, all these rock and pop and country groups had all of 2020 sitting at home to put together really great material, but it seems like re-releases, remix albums, and crummy EP's were all anyone did! Not so, in the electronic world. It was very difficult this year picking a #1. And a #2. And a #3... you get the hint. There was a lot of good music this year in the chillout world. It was hard to narrow it down, so let me just say congrats to all of these Top-10-ers, they put out some great work!

#10. Zero Cult - Eclectica 

Youtube 

I'll start you off with a gem from Zero Cult. Perfectly smooth and hitting all the right spots, Eclectica is a smart album with plenty of  subtle psychedelic hints and emotional melodies that make it beautiful. 

#9. Dense - Reflux Compressor 

Youtube

Reflux Compressor is only one of the albums Dense came out with in 2021, but to my ears it was the more psychedelic, more magical of them. This is an album you could definitely turn off the lights, put some headphones on, and tune yourself into another dimension.

 

#8. 121569 - Mermaid Marmalade

Youtube 

Mermaid Marmalade is an album by one of Side Liner's projects, 121569. I didn't find information on the unique artist name, but I did find that the album cover was a drawing done by his daughter. This album has some pretty cool lo-fi hip and trip hop beats with some pizazz thrown in for good measure. The tracks are all pretty short, but it is a fun jam.

 

#7. Eelison - When The Sea is Cooling Down

Youtube 

Some mellow liquid dubstep for you here. Blissful beats, soothing melodies, and vocals. Can I just say, I hate vocals in my electronic music? It's true. But these are actually very lovely and haunting, and fit the tracks perfectly. I had this album on repeat for about a week without listening to anything else, it was very nice.

 

#6. Hidden Frequency - Thoughts of Imagination

Youtube 

 Thoughts of Imagination is a truly jazzy trip hop album that surpasses the others. It blends some truly phat beats with that very chilled out groovy sound to make a mellow evening more fun. Play this one while driving in your car under the moon with your windows rolled all the way down. 

 

#5. Tengri - Best of Chillout

Youtube 

This one was #1 for a good part of the year because the beauty was so intense. Most of these songs were previously released on other albums, so it sort of breaks my rules, but it is such a great collection of psychedelic tribal psychill that I absolutely could not help put it on the list. The amount of mysticism goes far on this album, with enchanting tribal drums, chanting vocals, didgeridoos, and shimmering sequences. Haunting and psychedelic.

#4. Cosmic Touch - Nirvana

Bandcamp 

This turned into #1 for a long time after Tengri's album. This psybass album is seemingly perfect, fun, oozing with incredible psychedelic beats and sounds, twisting around in your brain, driving you crazy. The overall aura and vibe, alone, of this album is worth mentioning. A very fun listen, but I recommend some psilocybin if you want to make the experience go off the rails, in a good way.

 

#3. Kiphi - Move The Stars Here

Youtube

Then, this album became my #1 spot when I first heard it. It has a rather old-school psychill/psybient flavor to it, circa 2008/2009 or earlier, that I just love. The pacifying pads and soft hints of melody and wonder delight the senses, no doubt about it. You'll feel like you are floating on a cloud while listening to this album.

 

#2. Sundial Aeon - Synthesis

Youtube 

Wow, talk about psychedelic! I hear some acidic 303 sounds in this album, very tasty and crunchy. The soft squelch just gets me every time. Reassuring pads, satisfying synths, and effective beats really put you in a psychedelic mind frame inside a joyful atmosphere. I wouldn't skip a single track, and this quickly shot up to #1 as I listened more and more.  

Are you ready for #1.?

Drum Roll...

#1. Ten Madison - Borealis

Youtube

This album is #1 because I couldn't stop listening to it. I was surprised by this one, too, because all those many years ago before discovering psychedelic downtempo music, I discovered jazzy/housey chillout music, and Ten Madison provided that for me. I could imagine this album being played in outer space. Dreamy and spacey, surpassing time. At times epic, at other times thoughtful, the pace and the sentiment on this album was blatantly perfect.  Time to cough up 6 million dollars for a trip on Blue Origin. Stick this in your earbuds and off you go!

I hope you can click on all the links to have a listen to the song I picked to represent each album, and as always, be sure to support the artists! Have a happy 2022... and may music be even BETTER than it was in 2021!

Cheers.

Top 10 Chill Albums coming soon!

The elves are bust working, listening to albums to get you the top 10 psychill downtempo of the year. Not much longer now! 

survey

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All The Colors Mix Together, to...

 

As any of you would know, I am a big Dave Matthews Band fan. So recently, the mate and I did a little music project where we ranked each song from their studio albums from least favorite to most favorite. The list is somewhat surprising, because since this project required a lot of listens, a lot of songs I didn't know as well or listen to as much became higher on the list.

All in all it was a fun project and I'd do it again for a different favorite. I guess I should just Dive In.

Least Favorite to Most Favorite Dave Matthews Band studios:

First, the "Skips"::

Where Are You Going - Somehow my most hated song of theirs. I'm not even really sure why. Something about it just really rubs me the wrong way. Might be the melody, the tune, the words, I don't know.

Sleep To Dream Her - This song just annoys me and I skip it. 

Christmas Song - I am not a christian so it doesn't tick any of my boxes. Also, I don't like the way Dave sings it. 

Let You Down - Even the band doesn't like their own song. This one is a major skip. It's been played a few handful of times but that's it.

Mother Father - You'd think a Santana song would be uplifting but... no I just really don't like it. Skip.

Say Goodbye - A Fan favorite. During the concerts I go to the port o potty during this one... or go get another beer. It's a song about adultery and one night stand.. no thank you.

Lover Lay Down - A song about Dave wanting to get some girl in the sack that he's beon pining for. Not a terrible song, but it just doesn't do anything for me, so I skip it.

Now, for the "Meh" group ::

#35 - Too short to be a real song but I can dig where they were going with this.

When I'm Weary - Kind of annoying but I don't hate it as much as Lover Lay Down. Something about the way the lyrics are sung bothers me.

Belly Full - A short, sweet song, nothing special 

Pay For What You Get (Remember Two Things version) - This song is an older one so it's been heard. Been there done that.

Steady As We Go - Kind of boring.

Baby Blue - Another slightly annoying song, kind of boring, nothing I can even remember right now

I'll Back You Up - Another fan favorite that I don't really jive with that well. Maybe I used to really like it but you know when you hear it a lot it goes down hill.

Here On Out - Just not that memorable of a song.

Dreams of Our Fathers - The song where Dave sings about his kids (with exception of one or two) bug me. Probably because I don't have kids.

Mercy - Another "If we work together we can change the world song" - nah

Stolen Away on 55th & 3rd (Is that the song name? I always just refer to it as "stolen away") - Another slightly annoying song, I don't like the way the lyrics are sung/melody.

The Song That Jane Likes (R2T Solo Acoustic) - His voice was verrrrry nasal in this draft.

Angel - This song is annoying but not as bad as "When I'm Weary".

 

Now some "Okay/Neutral" songs. ::

Dream Girl - This song is alright. Nothing special. But I would enjoy it live.

When The World Ends - Another song that I've heard too many times to enjoy

Everybody Wake Up - Another "If we work together we can change the world song"

Fool To Think - A song about a possible missed connection. Not bad but the song is just ok.

Hunger For The Great Light - A song about oral sex. Well, aren't all Dave songs about oral sex mostly?

Out of My Hands - getting a little dark, but it  is a pretty good song.

Come on, Come on - Just ok. Doesn't do much for me but I wouldn't get up during the concert.

 #34 - A tribute/memorial song. It really is a lovely little jam.

Come Tomorrow - Another song about children and what will they experience when their world is older?

Snow Outside - This is alright. Nothing importantly special for me.

Do You Remember - I do not like the way it is sung but I like the music a lot.

Song That Jane Likes - Full band version, very good but just a little to mellow for me.

Typical Situation - This song is another one about changing the world, I think. It is alright.

Satellite  (R2T version) - Just ok. The other version is much more lively and full sounding.

Crash Into Me - Another instance of hearing it too often. Makes the heart grow less fonder, I think. A good song, but I don't like to hear it much.

Kit Kat Jam - On the Lillywhite Sessions this song has lyrics. On the official studio album "Busted Stuff" it does not which makes it farther down the list than it would have been.

Mercy (Live) - This version is a little better. I like the jam.

Belly Belly Nice - Peach juice dripping down your face (oral sex) anyone?

Proudest Monkey - Dave sings about monkeys a lot.

Minarets - This song is dope live but the studio version is so mellow.

Pig - I used to really love this one but it's alright now.

That Girl Is You - Again, live this one is awesome - especially with the Preservation Jazz Hall Band, but unfortunately the studio version sounds like Dave is skinning a cat. Stop drinking milk, dude.

Broken Things - Not bad not great.

Satellite - I do like this song, but decided I wouldn't rate it above the rest. This is the "Under The Table and Dreaming" version. More gusto!

 

 

Now for the "Good" list. Songs I do like much more :: 

Bkdkdkdd - A very small/short little jam on "Come Tomorrow". It sounds like the beginning of "Be Myself" which is one I figured and hoped they'd put on an album. Hmm..

American Baby - Pretty good song. But I'm not sure if Dave sings "Stay... American Baby" or "Stay American, baby."

Cry Freedom - A song about SA's apartheid. Very powerful.

American Baby Intro - Love the jam here.

What Would You Say - I know, right? Thought this one would be lower but it is a pretty funky bluesy hip song to jive around to.

Dancing Nancies - Dave solo acoustic live version. Nothing special but a damn good song.

Old Dirt Hill - Bring that beat back!! Yes! Great jam, good aesthetics in my head to this one. Riding your bike, kissing under a railroad trestle... etc

Spoon - Album version features Alanis Morrisette. I like it. But live... features Brandi Carlile @ the Gorge back in the day - so good!

Recently - Another good one although I indeed have listened to this one way too many times.

Spaceman - A lovely song.

Smooth Rider - A song about me. JK really though, too short - they should have had a jam on this one.

Can't Stop - Better than the original Batson Sessions version, but a lot of fun especially live.

What You Are - A pretty raucous track, this one also is especially fun live.

Seven - Another dirty song. Dave?

Everyday - The video features a dude hugging everyone he sees which is kinda cool. It's a sweet song.

Idea of You - I won't pull your hair or kick your shin... I swear.

Ants Marching - R2T version (live) so this is a great song but back on their early days it just wasn't as full sounding, it was still pretty mellow.

Again and Again - I like this one, and I think I may have seen it live but I can't recall.

Virginia In The Rain - At first this one was too boring but I love the melody now.

Time Bomb - Another fun jam live, and on the studio not bad.

I Did It - Hated this one when I first heard it (I was mad about the Lillywhite Sessions) but I dig it now, it is a fun little ditty

The Dreaming Tree - What a lovely, beautiful song

Drunken Soldier - I remember seeing this one at the Gorge, wow! Good one.

Granny - Ahhh yes, everyone's super fan favorite. But the studio version isn't as good as live.

Tripping Billies - R2T version - fun but not as full sounding.

So Much To Say - Should link y'all to my mate's dance on video she did to this one. She won 2nd place at a talent show.

Best of What's Around - A fun song.

Gaucho - Would be better live, without the kids' choir.

Gaucho Live - That's better.

Grace is Gone - Aw, love this one. I liked the Lillywhite Sesh version until I heard the beginning of this version and like this one better now.

Sweet - This is a cute song, rare one I like, bout teaching his son to swim.

Too Much - The ultimate concert/festival song - over indulgence. So me.

Stay (Wasting Time) - This is always a fun one. I used to not like the "lovely ladies" on it but I do now. 

Lying In The Hands of God - A good one, be even better live?

Lying In The Hands of God (Live) - Yes.

The Riff - It grew on me. This one used to be just a "ok"

Beach Ball - Good fun song. I hope someone actually rolls around a beach ball during this one live. They prob have.

Rooftop - I used to also not like this one as much as I do now. Good song!!

Now we're at the AWESOME ones!! ::

Drive In Drive Out - A fun, funky song to jam to, especially live.

Captain - This version was not IMO as good as the Lillywhite Sessions but it grew on me. It's got some jazzy funky-ness going on

Busted Stuff - Catch myself singing this one sometimes.

Sweet (Live) - Love the ukulele.

She - Rock out, Dave!

Black and Blue Bird - This is a sweet little song, love the part about Stardust and Canis Major.

Dive In - Love the way this one is sung and the melody. It is nice.

Lie In Our Graves - Getting into jam territory! Love the message of this one. Why lie in our graves dreaming of things that we might've been could've been, maybe?

Tripping Billies (Crash version) - Funky, fresh, hip... fun as an encore or set closer.

Ants Marching - The fan icon song. Tons of fun live, but also this studio version is spotless.

Shake Me Like a Monkey (Live) - So fun. Yes yes Dave you like to go down on your wife, we get it!

Diggin' a Ditch - Who doesn't unplug everything and take a hot bubble bath while listening to music and sipping on wine?

If Only - A good song about 'wanting you back' - my favorite from Away From The World I believe.

 Funny The Way It Is - I used to get this one mixed up with You Never Know - it's like a continuation of that one if you ask me. 

You Never Know - Love this one. You just really never know - I mean, so funny the way it is!

Samurai Cop (Oh Joy Begin) - This one makes me cry especially thinking about it in terms of myself, like my mom gives birth to me and my joy begins, makes me think of her and I miss her.

Louisiana Bayou - Fun, funky, I can see myself blasting this one while walking down the streets of the French Quarter soon

Rapunzel - Oh yes, he never sings about oral sex does he? Anyway a fun really funky jam

You & Me (live) - Another sweet one. You and me together, we can do anything, baby - pack your bags, something small..

The Last Stop - Perhaps their most crazy powerful RAAWWWWWWRRRRR song that they have next to Don't Drink The Water. BAM in your face.

Alligator Pie (live) fun and funky and again, I'm so going to blast this one in the french quarter soon...

Why I Am - love the nods to Leroi (late sax player) in this one.

Shake Me Like A Monkey (studio version) - I like this one more than the live one included on the album simply because Dave's voice doesn't crack.

 You & Me (studio) - A sweet one.

Two Step - Man this song live... I have no words. 18 minute jam anyone? Go watch the Summer Tour Warm Up 9.8.12 from California. Holy hell. A monster. But the studio here, is super good. Tim Reynolds for the win!

Squirm - A funny story. At the Gorge some dude vomited in the row in front of us and the band started playing Squirm "...Open up your mouth... it's coming out..." so great.

Hello Again - Singing about murder. Good old murder. Dave's sister when he was young was killed by her husband and I think this song is about that.

Seek Up - Studio version is kinda weak, a little lacking in the "OOMF" department. But live, wow!

Dancing Nancies - Again live this is better, but this studio version is damn good and so much fun to sing to. Could I have been anyone other than me?

Warehouse - This warehouse frightens me. No, for real. Live it makes wind blow, but this studio version, very very good.

Bartender - Oh man, he gives it his absolute ALL in this one, especially the Lillywhite Sessions version, but this one they put a little more thought into and it sounds really great.

Halloween - Oh my god talk about RAW pure emotion. Dave screams not to scream for screaming's sake but to show how horrible he felt when the song was written - We've all been there with a torn up heart before.

Big Eyed Fish - A cautionary tale? A cute tale? A song about monkeys and fish? Yes, all of that.

The Stone - Triumphantly epic, moody, and beautiful lyrics. I was just hoping that you'd come along, hold up my head when my head won't hold on... I'll do the same if the same's what you want, if not I'll go...

You Might Die Trying - This jam has got me. And the lyrics though there aren't many, are damn good. Sing along at a campfire perhaps?

One Sweet World - A song about saving the planet. Done in an upbeat, fun, funky, fresh, and  totally sing-along-able way!

Top 5, Drum Roll please!!

Rhyme & Reason - Singing about the lowest point in your life but while nearly screaming your head off about it... yes.

Jimi Thing - Who hasn't just sat back and relaxed, smoked some weed and had a drink or two whilst contemplating the ills that befall us? Now, the live version is um.. well, I think the longest Jimi Thing was over 20 minutes long. Fuck yeah that jam. 

Crush - Me and my mate's love song! While not just a romantic love song, but man that jam at the end.. hell yes.

Don't Drink The Water - I have native sympathy. Always have. Love the culture, the music, and their history make me angry. And this song... stirs all of that up. Album version is kinda slow. But deep and powerful. Live though, just go home after this one, it's all you need to pump you the fuck up.

And my #1 all time favotie Dave Matthews Band song is...

Grey Street - She thinks hey, how could I come to this? I've dreamt myself a million times around the world, and can't seem to get out of this place! A song about a sad girl. Depression has hit us all at one point or another, and this song hits it square in the head. It isn't just the words/lyrics. The melody, and the harmony between the violin (Boyd Tinsley rest in... whatever you're resting in) and saxophone are triumphantly gorgeous. The whole song is brought together by the sensation that when you're sad... all the colors mix together, to grey.

There you have it, every Dave song on the studios ranked. I'm spell checking and such, but if I don't catch something, pardon me. Anyway a lot of these, after several listens, was a surprise to me.

I would love to see YOUR list, so if you do make one, let me know!